Why Living in the Past is Pointless – And What to Do About It
You’ve heard it a million times: “live in the moment – be more present”.
And, it’s true. Living in the past is unhelpful. Constantly looking back at what you’ve lost, emotionally and physically is a waste of time because it’s gone. It’s never coming back.
Being rooted in the past means missing out on fully living in the present. Your mind I never free of regret, of loss, of sadness of what could have been.
Of course, looking back over your shoulder at good memories is positive, once in a while.
It’s great to reminisce over happy day gone by, as long as you’re creating new, happy memories in the present and not creating a narrative that the “past was so much better and you’ll never be happy again”.
That’s not a good place to be because you’re preventing yourself from moving forward. You’re staying in one place, rooted to the spot.
Okay, so, you get it; living in the past isn’t positive. But it’s more than that. Actually, its really pointless.
And here’s why….
Why Living in the Past is Pointless
Having regret and feeling sadness over decisions we made, relationships we lost, and bad situations we got ourselves into is short-sighted.
We all do it from time to time, though, especially when things aren’t going our way in the present and we need a scapegoat.
It’s an easy excuse to blame our past actions for our failings in the present: “If only I’d done that differently, my life would be better today”.
The thing is, that might well be true.
For example if you committed a crime 10 years ago, you may still find it tough to get a job today. Depending on the type of crime, that might be pretty unfair.
Life isn’t fair, period.
But it’s still pointless looking back at that part of your life to share the blame.
Why:
Because you were a different person back then!
On reflection…
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, as they say.
Of course, you wouldn’t make those decisions now:
You wouldn’t have committed that crime.
You wouldn't have dropped out of college
You wouldn't have spent all that money
You wouldn't have hit that guy
You wouldn't have cheated on that girl
You wouldn't have had such an attitude problem!
But you are different now. You have grown up. You have evolved, emotionally and spiritually.
This is life.
For some, this is a tougher pill to swallow than for others, because their mistakes are bigger and have more impact of the present. But that doesn't change the fact that you can’t change the past.
It’s pointless carrying that emotional baggage around with you. It happened, and it happened because of who you were back then.
A series of events took place in your life that led you to take specific action at a specific time. On reflection, it was avoidable, but at the time you didn’t avoid it because you were in a different frame of mind, with a different set of motivations and a completely different outlook on life.
Upbringing, environment, insecurity, lack of confidence, fear; all these things may have played a part at the time.
Your mindset was different back then. You were younger and more emotionally charged, less patient, more reactive and most likely dealing with a whole bunch of different stuff pulling you in all directions.
So, the bottom line is you were a different person, with a different mindset. So, no matter what you would have liked to have done differently, you wouldn’t have done it differently anyway.
The Future
You can’t change the person you were back then, but you can recognize what you did and didn’t like about that person.
You can use the past as self- therapy to help you move forward and be happier in the present.
Don’t get stuck in regret and “what ifs?” Instead, try understanding the kind of person you were and what personality traits and state of mind led to specific events that negatively impacted your life.
Work out why you became that person. What led to that action, reaction, insecurity, lack of confidence, depression, anxiety, etc.
When you begin to put this puzzle together, you will begin to forgive yourself. And, that is the most important thing here.
Because it’s that understanding and forgiveness that will help you move forward positively in the present.
You will find that you are able to be more understanding and forgiving to others, and that you have a newfound ability to help others more forward and let go.
As I always say: what other choice do you have: Time isn’t waiting for you.
Live your life now!
The Bible encourages moving forward and not dwelling on the past, suggesting it can hinder personal growth and God’s new plans. Key verses like Isaiah 43:18-19 (“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past”) and Luke 9:62 (“No one who puts his hand to the plow and look back is fir for the Kingdon of God”)
This verse emphasizes God’s desire for people to move beyond the past and embrace the new things He is doing. The Living Bible translation says: “But forget all that – if is nothing compared to what I’m going to do!” This passage warns against looking back after committing to a task, suggesting that focusing on the past can hinder progress and dedication to God’s will.
Philippians 3:13-14: This verse encourages believers to “forget what lies behind and strain forward to what lies ahead, highlighting the importance of focusing on the future and not dwelling on past achievements or failures.
2 Corinthians 5:17: This verse speaks of believers as “new creations” in Christ, implying that the past self, with its old ways and habits is gone.
Gods Commands:
The Bible also uses commands like “remember not the former things” to emphasize the importance of not dwelling on the past and focusing on God’s ongoing work in our lives.
In essence, the Bible suggests that living in the past can lead to stagnation, regret and a missed opportunity to experience God’s new things and plans. By focusing on the present and future, believers can more fully participate in God’s purposes.
And,
Matthew 6:14: “If you forgive others their sins, Your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, But, if you don’t forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your sins.”
Author: Joe Miedema